I copied and pasted the same Amazon link into my Insta DMs multiple times this morning, and for good reason. The product is really that good! So then I thought, why not list the items I’ve recommended multiple times this summer? Wouldn’t you like to know? Great! Let’s do it.

1. Try Softer, by Aundi Kolber. A blog post with complete list of recently read titles is forthcoming, but this is the probably the most-recommended book of my summer. Aundi has a way of writing powerful truths gently. She exudes meekness – power under restraint, and I imagine her words reach people effectively regardless of gender, past, or life stage. It’s also a tangibly helpful read, which is especially appealing when navigating mental health.
2. These eye patches. Made of hydrogel, these little bad boys apply easily and stay on for a long time. I don’t care if they actually reduce fine lines and wrinkles and circles as they claim, but they sure as heck reduce the appearance of the all of the aforementioned! They feel good, too, and sometimes that’s really all that matters when you’re participating in self-care.
3. XtraTuf boots. I’ve been wearing these magical things since my days in Alaska in 2005. I bought my husband a pair shortly after we married, and my kids have worn them their entire lives. Now that we live here, it’s a mandatory part of the uniform. No matter where you’re located, though, these boots are great to keep by the door. XtraTuf is an excellent choice in rain and snow (if you layer your socks right or buy the insulated ones), they last forever, and they go and off easily (parents of young kids, can I get a hallelujah).
4. Sabbath tips by Kathryn Tilmes. You’re just going to want to follow her on IG regardless. But at the very least, feel free to write her a DM to ask for her guide on Sabbath. I’ve got another post brewing about our years-long journey toward Biblical rest, but for now I just want to say our Friday night dinners are some of the sweetest moments of the week. I shared a bit about our meals here. Shabbat Shalom!
5. Masks by The Stockist. You know it’s a weird time we’re living in (and through) when we’re out here making face mask recommendations – and the respiratory kind, not beauty! I talk about these babies on Instagram all of the time because they’re the ones I reach for most often. At $12-15 a pop, they’re not the cheapest option. But they feel like a combination of butter and swimsuit material, they come with removable filters, they stay on without requiring adjustment, and they are comfortable to wear for long periods of time. I hand-wash mine in soapy water and hang it on a doorknob to dry. You really only need two, with that kind of routine!

Honorable mentions: this cream for eczema flares, these boots for girls (hold out for a sale), and this jade roller that I keep in the freezer.

WHAT ABOUT Y’ALL? WHAT HAVE YOU LOVED THIS SUMMER? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE PEOPLE?

Grad school is done! Grad school is done! Grad school is done!

For the last four years, I’ve spent most of my free time working on school stuff. When I wasn’t working on school stuff, I was checking my school email account or fretting about missing an assignment. My kids don’t remember a life when I wasn’t in school. It felt crazy at times, but now it’s over. And now that I’m a few months into this new season, it feels important to take notice of where my newfound free time is going. Here are five things I’m doing more of now that I’m finished with school…

1. Plants. The garden was one of the first things to go when classes picked up, and I’m excited to do it again. Right now, it’s just houseplants but we’ll see what the spring brings. If you missed it, we moved to Alaska at the beginning of the summer and I have a new climate to learn. Praise God for the half dozen or so plants that survived the 4500 mile road trip! In the meantime, I’m working towards a bathroom jungle and experimenting with propagation. I’ve learned a lot from Hilton and Christian. I’ve also gotten into the habit of making daily rounds on my plants, checking on them and talking to them before I go to bed. I’ve watched stagnant things bloom. I’ve watched healthy things die. I’ve watched supposedly dead things come back to life. This is life.

2. Slow fashion. I’ve done the capsule wardrobe thing for years, and I try to make ethical and sustainable purchases. But slow fashion is a whole new world. I’m reading fashion blogs again – I see you, Lindsey and Andrea! I’m buying limited edition pieces secondhand, and reading the stories behind some really incredible small businesses and designers. I’m cheering when my small purchase helps economic growth in places like Spain and Peru and Poland, and right here in Alaska. I worried that my passion for fashion might have to take a backseat to my new climate here, but it turns out there is plenty of cold weather style for me to learn and love. It’s also a great time for me to expand my uniform beyond its historical and reliable neutral palette. I still love the blacks and whites and greys, but I think this is the year I wear red.

3. Counseling. I saw a counselor for what I called “boot camp” leading up to grad school. Over the course of a summer and ten sessions, we processed and we prepped. It was quite helpful, but I knew even then that I’d need more comprehensive therapy down the road. Now is the time! I’m seeing an EMDR trauma-informed therapist, even though I have no recollection of major trauma throughout my lifetime. In the words of Aundi, there is little t and big T trauma; we’ve all experienced some form along the way. A lot of my adult life has been about powering through hard things, and I’m ready to slow down and process them with a gospel-centered professional. Side note: I had to wait for my income and health insurance to grow significantly before I could afford mental health services. It ought not be so.

4. The outdoors. For the last few years, the walks have been therapeutic and sustaining. I’ve spent a lot of time resetting my heart, mind, and body on that street near my house. I also worked every weekend during grad school, so family adventures were put on hold. Until now! We’re hiking and exploring with no agenda except to hike and explore. There is no reset needed. It almost feels like we aren’t even repairing what we’ve got; we’re building something new. We’re seeing glaciers and moose. We’re skipping rocks on the water and trudging through icy creeks. We’re riding in boats and laying on beaches. Sometimes I simply stop for a moment, wherever I am, just to get my face in the sun.

5. Marriage vulnerability. I’ve always thought myself to be honest and transparent, but there is a time to go deep and a time to stay afloat. Grad school was a time to stay afloat. When things felt tense, my husband and I chose to trust. We picked our battles, and they were few. We prioritized peace. Now, we have the time to go deep. These days, we still work for a harmonious home, but we are no longer in survival mode. Sometimes, I find myself rambling about my day or something that’s bothering me, and I realize I’ve been talking for several minutes. There is room for details now. Other times, I find myself losing my patience with my husband and he addresses it in the moment. There is more room for reflection and repentance now.

There is more room for a lot of things now.

image

I didn’t branch out as much with personal care this year, sticking to my goal of not replacing products until I was in need. I also wish I had gotten more facials, but overall, we had a good and glowy year. Without further ado… my top five beauty finds from 2018, in no particular order.

1. Micellar water, Bioderma. The concept might sound silly or bougie, but micellar water is legit. I apply it with a cotton ball in the morning, instead of washing my face. At night, it’s great for eye-makeup removal. It leaves my face feeling soft and not stripped, which is great before makeup in the morning, and actives (serums, etc.) in the evening.
2. Sunscreen glow stick, Supergoop. The fact that I used it for two days without realizing there was a plastic cover on it notwithstanding, this is my new favorite product. It makes me dewy all over, which is my only skin goal in life. It can go under or over makeup. I also like the idea of applying protective and natural ingredients that do something, and not just another layer of makeup to get the look I want.
3. Banana brightening eye cream, Ole Henriksen. After walking out with a free sample from Sephora one too many times (it was wrong; I repent), my husband surprised me with the full-size (the only kind of surprise I like). It moisturizes, plumps, and brightens my under-eye area prior to makeup application.
4. Almond shower oil, L’Occitane. I fell in love with this a decade ago (funny story: a customer left a bag full of it in Chris’ store and they never could track her down). This year, I decided to implement it into my routine as a necessity. I actually use it as a shaving gel, so it lasts several months.
5. Deodorant, Lavanila. I gave up antiperspirant/deodorant years ago, and the detox thing is real – going without really has cut down on both sweating and odor for me. I needed more than just tea tree oil to get through this summer’s humidity, though, and discovered this at my bestie’s house. I’m still wearing it several months later, with no complaints! I feel less damp, and the mild pleasant scent lasts all day.

Looking forward to new fun finds in 2019. Cheers!

I’ve been wearing Glossier for years now, and working with them as a brand rep for about a year. (If you shop through my link, you get 10% off your first order and I get a commission. It’s basically an affiliate program. I think they had to let me in after I bought everything they sold. Even the sweatshirt.) Regardless of all of that, it’s simply my favorite beauty brand hands-down. Glossier makes incredibly effective skincare and makeup products, at an affordable price, with the right blend of natural and clinical ingredients, that ship in the cutest packaging. I figured this edition of Five things on a Friday might as well be a Glossier special. I’m highlighting (pun intended) the five products I use the most. Scroll to the bottom to save some money when you buy all five!

my current favorite glossier products, in no particular order:

1. Milky jelly cleanser. It’s gentle enough for eyelids and tough enough for eye makeup. This is my first cleansing step of the night and I’ve never let myself run out of it. Price: $9/$18
2. Priming moisturizer. I can’t quit it. I try other stuff and always come back to this. It goes on so smooth and adds a hint of a glow that I cannot deny. It’s got legitimate ingredients in it, too. Price: $22
3. Balm Dotcom. I have a tube everywhere. Literally, everywhere. I’ve tried most of the flavors. Birthday is my favorite, and it has a little shimmer to it. Cherry is the most versatile; I wear it on my cheeks and eyelids in addition to lips. Price: $12
4. Boy Brow. The product that brought us all to Glossier. It just cannot be beat. I use the end of the wand to draw a fine line where needed, and the brush to fill and fluff with some color. I don’t even need a pencil anymore. Price: $16
5. Haloscope. This makes my cheeks glow like nothing else. It’s not too glittery or sparkly like other highlighters I’ve used. The stick has a lip balm/chapstick feel to it and is very easy to apply. I’ve worn Topaz all summer long but will switch to Moonstone soon. Price: $22

According to my calculations, buying all five products individually will cost you $90. However, they are all available via two different bundles, taking the the total down to $70. Don’t forget to shop through my link for an extra 10% off of your first purchase!

Phase 1: $40 for milky jelly cleanser, priming moisturizer, balm dotcom.

Boy Brow + Haloscope Duo: $30 for boy brow, haloscope.

Life lessons learned from the 70+ crowd at the gym:

1. Make an experience of it. While exercise takes up merely a fraction of my day and my brain space, it appears that the older generation builds their entire day around their time at the gym. In the locker room, there’s talk of waking up hours before their swim class to let dogs out or read or get warm enough to make the drive over. Bags are packed the night before, and plans are made for showers or lunch or an errand afterward. Naps are a must, too, and built into the schedule. And don’t worry, we’ll all have a lengthy conversation to help them weigh the cost of whatever decision must be made or a plan that might need adjusting. Whatever they’re doing, these people soak it up for all of its worth.

2. Sit down when you need to. Contrary to my prideful personality that does not like to take a timeout, I’ve seen women cut out of class fifteen minutes early. Sometimes, it’s to get the shower stall they want, but often it’s because they’re just plain tired and over the exercise. Some of the men in the weight room seem as though they come just to chat. They spend exponentially more time in a chair in the trainer’s office than they do on a treadmill. I think I’m the only one who doesn’t take a rest between showering  and getting dressed. I’m hopping into my scrub pants with water droplets still on my legs. My workout buddies know how to pace themselves. But again, see #1. They’re in it for the experience.

3. Pay attention to your surroundings. I’m hyper-aware of my environment most of the time, but it comes from an introverted, anxious “I hope I don’t get attacked or have to talk to people” perspective. The old folks at the gym are not afraid of engaging. I’ve never seen people react so harshly to their routines being interrupted. I watched as a woman came back to her locker one day, dripping wet from the pool, to find someone else’s lock on it. Apparently, she’d taken their regular spot and would have to learn the hard way. I’ve also never seen such community like the friendships at the gym. The older people take care of each other like nobody’s business. I’ve found treats and presents for my kids tucked inside my gym bag, once I’ve left it in its usual spot on the counter long enough for them to trust me. It pays to follow a routine and play nice with the locker room ladies.

4. Take your time. I try to be in and out of the gym in under an hour, even less if I’m not showering there. Not my elderly friends. Some of my favorites are the ones who arrive at least twenty minutes early for their class or personal training appointment. One reads in a lawn chair in the locker room, and another loves to chat so much he could talk a brick wall into working out with him. I also love the folks who know when to call it quits, sometimes before things ever really get started. I saw a woman literally leave the gym and not go to class one day, because she’d left something in her car and figured she’d miss part of class by the time she got back from the parking lot. These people do not hurry. They have no need.

5. Say what you mean. I have learned more about conflict resolution from seniors than any other group. These people know how to speak their minds and it’s beautiful. They tell the teacher if they didn’t like her music choice. They call each other out if they haven’t been to the gym in awhile. Last week, a larger woman wrapped in a tiny towel walked right into the tiny sauna while I was in it, got comfortable next to me, and asked me to adjust the light for her. If the roles were reversed, I would have skipped the sauna that day to avoid bumping up against someone else’s routine. Not her. See #1. We’re really missing out if we aren’t treating each day like a luxury to be fully experienced.

EDITED TO ADD: A reader added an incredible lesson... self-confidence and body image goals! Those gals strip down in the locker room like it's no big deal, never glancing around or at themselves in the mirror. They don't give a second thought to how they look in a bathing suit or workout gear, either. One of my favorite ladies literally pulls up a chair and sits beneath the hand dryer in the bathroom, chatting with everyone while her hair dries. Talk about efficient!