Five things on a Friday.

Grad school is done! Grad school is done! Grad school is done!

For the last four years, I’ve spent most of my free time working on school stuff. When I wasn’t working on school stuff, I was checking my school email account or fretting about missing an assignment. My kids don’t remember a life when I wasn’t in school. It felt crazy at times, but now it’s over. And now that I’m a few months into this new season, it feels important to take notice of where my newfound free time is going. Here are five things I’m doing more of now that I’m finished with school…

1. Plants. The garden was one of the first things to go when classes picked up, and I’m excited to do it again. Right now, it’s just houseplants but we’ll see what the spring brings. If you missed it, we moved to Alaska at the beginning of the summer and I have a new climate to learn. Praise God for the half dozen or so plants that survived the 4500 mile road trip! In the meantime, I’m working towards a bathroom jungle and experimenting with propagation. I’ve learned a lot from Hilton and Christian. I’ve also gotten into the habit of making daily rounds on my plants, checking on them and talking to them before I go to bed. I’ve watched stagnant things bloom. I’ve watched healthy things die. I’ve watched supposedly dead things come back to life. This is life.

2. Slow fashion. I’ve done the capsule wardrobe thing for years, and I try to make ethical and sustainable purchases. But slow fashion is a whole new world. I’m reading fashion blogs again – I see you, Lindsey and Andrea! I’m buying limited edition pieces secondhand, and reading the stories behind some really incredible small businesses and designers. I’m cheering when my small purchase helps economic growth in places like Spain and Peru and Poland, and right here in Alaska. I worried that my passion for fashion might have to take a backseat to my new climate here, but it turns out there is plenty of cold weather style for me to learn and love. It’s also a great time for me to expand my uniform beyond its historical and reliable neutral palette. I still love the blacks and whites and greys, but I think this is the year I wear red.

3. Counseling. I saw a counselor for what I called “boot camp” leading up to grad school. Over the course of a summer and ten sessions, we processed and we prepped. It was quite helpful, but I knew even then that I’d need more comprehensive therapy down the road. Now is the time! I’m seeing an EMDR trauma-informed therapist, even though I have no recollection of major trauma throughout my lifetime. In the words of Aundi, there is little t and big T trauma; we’ve all experienced some form along the way. A lot of my adult life has been about powering through hard things, and I’m ready to slow down and process them with a gospel-centered professional. Side note: I had to wait for my income and health insurance to grow significantly before I could afford mental health services. It ought not be so.

4. The outdoors. For the last few years, the walks have been therapeutic and sustaining. I’ve spent a lot of time resetting my heart, mind, and body on that street near my house. I also worked every weekend during grad school, so family adventures were put on hold. Until now! We’re hiking and exploring with no agenda except to hike and explore. There is no reset needed. It almost feels like we aren’t even repairing what we’ve got; we’re building something new. We’re seeing glaciers and moose. We’re skipping rocks on the water and trudging through icy creeks. We’re riding in boats and laying on beaches. Sometimes I simply stop for a moment, wherever I am, just to get my face in the sun.

5. Marriage vulnerability. I’ve always thought myself to be honest and transparent, but there is a time to go deep and a time to stay afloat. Grad school was a time to stay afloat. When things felt tense, my husband and I chose to trust. We picked our battles, and they were few. We prioritized peace. Now, we have the time to go deep. These days, we still work for a harmonious home, but we are no longer in survival mode. Sometimes, I find myself rambling about my day or something that’s bothering me, and I realize I’ve been talking for several minutes. There is room for details now. Other times, I find myself losing my patience with my husband and he addresses it in the moment. There is more room for reflection and repentance now.

There is more room for a lot of things now.

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