I’m in the thick of it.

I set some exciting but intense goals this year, so I expected to hit a few bumps in the road. I did not expect to be knocked flat on my back for what seemed to be most of January. As I described to my team, I feel like I’m drowning in mud. One step forward, two steps back. Exhaustion, emotional and physical. All of the feelings. I know it’s the weather and the time of year, but it’s so much more than that.

I’m in the thick of it. When Jessi first started narrowing her vision and the woman to whom she writes, I smiled at her phrase and wanted to pat her on the back. I wanted so badly to not be there anymore, to speak wisdom and laughter and love and life to the women who were. But it’s just not true. I’m in the thick of it, too. I’m right there with the women to whom I write. Most of us are all right there together. This is the beauty of the gospel lived out, of vulnerability found on the Internet and beyond.

So this month, I’m going to embrace this idea. I’m going to practice a bit more self-care. I’m going to read tweets like this and smile. Right now, my world is the smell of Chick-Fil-A. My ministry is the mess around my feet. And as Jessi pointed out so beautifully, this is not a problem. This is a gift.