I’m taking back my language.

Anyone else find themselves regularly tempted to water down their words? Me! Me! Me!

When I first started hanging out online, I was fearless. I remember waiting the endless seconds and minutes for our dial-up internet to connect, and then it was off to the races. I wrote about my feelings. I wrote about people. I wrote about my day. I wrote about topics on which I had no business presenting myself as an expert, but I didn’t care. The world wide web was my oyster. What changed?

Over the years, I have been corrected about my words both privately and publicly. I have been snarked about on anonymous forums, and I’ve faced pushback in my comment sections. But I have also been a recipient of well-meaning tweets and direct messages and emails. I have pulled my words when they harmed. I have edited my words when they didn’t translate like I’d hoped. Although I don’t agree with the permanent exclusivity and shunning associated with today’s cancel culture, I very much appreciate the long-overdue attention needed to careless and damaging words and actions. For me, the problem lies in the temptation to censor myself. This is what I call the watering down.

There is beauty to correction and knowing better so one can do better, but there is danger in allowing one’s self to get lost or tucked away or hidden for good. There is power in wisdom and discernment and council, but there is also strength in courage to speak. From opinions to pleas to vulnerability, we must hold space for our words and the words of others. As a Jesus follower, I believe the enemy of my soul wants nothing more than to shut me up for good.

When I say something, it’s usually because I very much mean it. I’m also quite comfortable changing my mind along the way. Sometimes the safest place to be is in the uncertainty of something. These things, meaning what we say and changing our minds, are normal behaviors. It’s time to behave as though they are. I will stay careful forever, but I’m ready to be done second-guessing everything I say and write. I want to take back my language, both online and in face-to-face interactions.

Busy is defined as having a great deal to do. Sometimes, I’m busy. To be indulgent is to be overly generous or lenient. I hope I’m indulgent to myself and others when it matters. Black lives matter is a theologically true and sound statement. Woke is now defined as being alert to injustice. I certainly want to care about the things God cares about.

When I allow words to become hijacked by culture, even Christian culture, I allow the enemy to sideline me. And my short life here on earth is far too precious for that.