five things on a friday

Five things on a Friday

I copied and pasted the same Amazon link into my Insta DMs multiple times this morning, and for good reason. The product is really that good! So then I thought, why not list the items I’ve recommended multiple times this summer? Wouldn’t you like to know? Great! Let’s do it.

  1. Try Softer, by Aundi Kolber. A blog post with complete list of recently read titles is forthcoming, but this is the probably the most-recommended book of my summer. Aundi has a way of writing powerful truths gently. She exudes meekness – power under restraint, and I imagine her words reach people effectively regardless of gender, past, or life stage. It’s also a tangibly helpful read, which is especially appealing when navigating mental health.
  2. These eye patches. Made of hydrogel, these little bad boys apply easily and stay on for a long time. I don’t care if they actually reduce fine lines and wrinkles and circles as they claim, but they sure as heck reduce the appearance of the all of the aforementioned! They feel good, too, and sometimes that’s really all that matters when you’re participating in self-care.
  3. XtraTuf boots. I’ve been wearing these magical things since my days in Alaska in 2005. I bought my husband a pair shortly after we married, and my kids have worn them their entire lives. Now that we live here, it’s a mandatory part of the uniform. No matter where you’re located, though, these boots are great to keep by the door. XtraTuf is an excellent choice in rain and snow (if you layer your socks right or buy the insulated ones), they last forever, and they go and off easily (parents of young kids, can I get a hallelujah).
  4. Sabbath tips by Kathryn Tilmes. You’re just going to want to follow her on IG regardless. But at the very least, feel free to write her a DM to ask for her guide on Sabbath. I’ve got another post brewing about our years-long journey toward Biblical rest, but for now I just want to say our Friday night dinners are some of the sweetest moments of the week. I shared a bit about our meals here. Shabbat Shalom!
  5. Masks by The Stockist. You know it’s a weird time we’re living in (and through) when we’re out here making face mask recommendations – and the respiratory kind, not beauty! I talk about these babies on Instagram all of the time because they’re the ones I reach for most often. At $12-15 a pop, they’re not the cheapest option. But they feel like a combination of butter and swimsuit material, they come with removable filters, they stay on without requiring adjustment, and they are comfortable to wear for long periods of time. I hand-wash mine in soapy water and hang it on a doorknob to dry. You really only need two, with that kind of routine!

Honorable mentions: this cream for eczema flares, these boots for girls (hold out for a sale), and this jade roller that I keep in the freezer.

WHAT ABOUT Y’ALL? WHAT HAVE YOU LOVED THIS SUMMER? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE PEOPLE?

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books & things

How to Do Nothing – a book review

It took me the entire summer to finish it, but How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell is everything I hoped it would be and more. I underlined something on practically every page. Jenny is a talented artist and writer, a passionate college professor, and an avid bird watcher. A native to Silicon Valley and the hustle and bustle of California city life, Jenny has made a counter-cultural shift toward resisting the attention economy the internet built for us. She uses social media and participates in online dialogue, but she does so with care and intention. She reminds readers that we were never made to sustain an internet-fast pace when it comes to thought and discourse and progress. The communities we build online tend to be engineered toward our preference, too, so we miss out on diversity of thought. Jenny calls this a “context-collapsed crowd.” It’s also our neighbors that are most likely to help us in time of need and vice versa, and they are therefore deserving of our investment.

How to Do Nothing makes a case for removing oneself from the chaotic noise of life, both online and off, and replacing it with an attention toward our physical environment. She discusses everything from ancestral lands to topography to civil rights protests and political debate. It’s quite heady and cerebral, which is why it took me so long to get through. But I’m SO GLAD I DID. I bought it on a whim – the title and its beautiful cover seemed like a great quarantine read. It ended up being the most timely book I might have ever read. Jenny had no way of knowing about Covid-19 or George Floyd, but she writes about these kinds of topics (even conspiracy theories like #pizzagate!) in a way that feels like she could see the future.

This book convicted me to become more mindful of the moment I’m in, while still engaging in hard-but-necessary topics. She calls this a “refusal-in-place,” in that we can take ourselves out of the rat race while still participating in society effectively. Jenny also challenged me to notice the people and (animals!) in my immediate surroundings, and to learn the history of my neighborhood. Lastly, her words made me feel less crazy about the internet – the echo chambers, the algorithms, the division, and the giant social experiment we’re living in. The internet is a modern marvel, and it carries much potential, but it’s not perfect. Additionally, the companies that build and maintain our social networks are surely not innocent, nor do they have our best interests at heart. Anyway, I highly highly highly recommend How to Do Nothing! And now, a few titillating excerpts for your enjoyment.

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life in alaska marriage

Happy sunset to you!

I had a slow, restful weekend. After experiencing a sudden onset of physical symptoms, I knew I needed covid testing in order to return to work safely. My hospital currently tests symptomatic employees twice, twenty-four hours apart. Between episodes of getting cotton swabs shoved gently-but-uncomfortably far into my nose, I spent most of my weekend curled up in the bed or curled up by the fire.*

Our monster of a wood stove feels like it could heat the whole neighborhood. We currently have one cord of wood stacked beneath our front porch, and another waiting to be stacked beneath our back porch. (What is a cord of wood, you ask? Great question! We just learned, too. A cord is a stack of firewood, approximately 4 feet high, 8 feet long, and 128 cubic feet in volume. Not sure if it’ll get us through the winter, but at least now we know how to order it and stack it!)

I’ve been prepping for Arctic weather since early summer; now that it’s chillier, I’m grateful for my borderline obsession. Fall is coming fast and hard, with winter close behind it. I was surprised to learn that here in Alaska, we actually get four full seasons. (Now, Alaska is a large, large, LARGE state. Click here to learn more. So when I say “here in Alaska,” I mean the southern peninsula. It’s also important to note that the marine climate in which I live is actually quite mild and temperate compared with the rest of the state and several Midwestern states.) I can’t speak to spring or winter, yet, but the summer was glorious. The sun set around midnight and rose hours before we awakened. The temperature hit seventy degrees on a regular basis. Our noses turned pink when we forgot to reapply sunscreen. We hiked on Wednesdays and Saturdays and Sundays and even broke a sweat a few times. There were boat rides and beach campfires. We observed the pace of the Alaskan during this season (play hard, fish enough for the entire year, play hard, tend to your garden and harvest enough for winter jars and cans, play hard some more). We crossed everything off of our summer bucket list. Thanks, God.

The transition to autumn in August feels appropriate, almost as if the weather follows the unspoken rules of books and movies and whimsy. Sweaters are necessary during the first week of school. The hot pink fireweed blooms begin to blow off, and its leaves slowly start to turn red. The fishermen and fisherwomen come home for the season. The restaurants and shops on the spit begin to close down. (What is the spit, you ask? Great question! The Homer Spit is a 4.5 mile finger-like projection of land that juts out into the Kachemak Bay. It holds our harbor, as well as picturesque beaches and a bustling boardwalk. Learn more here.)

I feel as ready as I can be for the dark days ahead. I bought the happy light. I take the Vitamin D. I’ve got an excellent counselor. I’m researching outdoor cold weather hobbies. I’m building a closet of gorgeous sweaters. I asked Instagram for cold weather advice, and Instagram delivered. I know that the lack of sunshine ahead is the price we pay for the continuous three months of sunshine we just enjoyed. I saw the moon this week, and I realized I couldn’t remember seeing it since the day we left South Carolina.

All in all, I await winter with anticipation. I’m ready for whatever autumn has to offer, with one exception. I do not appreciate the rapidly changing sunset times. On August 1, the sun went down at 10:32pm. Tonight, the last night of August, it will set at 9:09pm. I find this to be aggressive, pushy, and a bit rude. I’d rather be gently ushered into the next season. Fortunately, Chris came up with a fix for that.

Enter, home automation. I was slow to pick up on it, but my dear husband had his own way of coping with our move. While I spent many moments standing on our balcony, feeling the ocean breeze on my face and listening to the wind chimes Chris surprised me with when we arrived, he actually spent many moments ordering smart lights for every fixture he could outfit. This is an interesting distinction, as he typically connects more with nature and I love to shop online. Anyway, I looked up one day and realized I could tell the lights or the music to do whatever I wanted, in any room, and get a response. Chris uses an app to build “scenes,” where lights and music and sound effects work together in a theme.

We have a disco scene, which is particularly nice after dinner. As the kids clear the table, all of the main floor lights flash in different colors while Motown music plays. We also have a Star Wars scene, which is hilarious because we don’t have any good Star Wars costumes left in the house. By golly, the kids will make do with what they’ve got and stoically enter a room full of red light to the tune of The Imperial March. Chris has even set up scenes in the kids’ bedrooms, which helps with both bedtime routines and waking up for school.

What does a smart home have to do with aggressive sunsets? Chris made us a sunset scene. No matter what time the sun begins sink away, the house lights now turn pink, accompanied by a sweet chime sound. Chris and I make a point to stop what we’re doing and look at one another. Happy sunset to you. Bring it on, autumn.

*I feel much better today and both tests were negative!

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five things on a friday

Five things on a Friday.

Grad school is done! Grad school is done! Grad school is done!

For the last four years, I’ve spent most of my free time working on school stuff. When I wasn’t working on school stuff, I was checking my school email account or fretting about missing an assignment. My kids don’t remember a life when I wasn’t in school. It felt crazy at times, but now it’s over. And now that I’m a few months into this new season, it feels important to take notice of where my newfound free time is going. Here are five things I’m doing more of now that I’m finished with school…

1. Plants. The garden was one of the first things to go when classes picked up, and I’m excited to do it again. Right now, it’s just houseplants but we’ll see what the spring brings. If you missed it, we moved to Alaska at the beginning of the summer and I have a new climate to learn. Praise God for the half dozen or so plants that survived the 4500 mile road trip! In the meantime, I’m working towards a bathroom jungle and experimenting with propagation. I’ve learned a lot from Hilton and Christian. I’ve also gotten into the habit of making daily rounds on my plants, checking on them and talking to them before I go to bed. I’ve watched stagnant things bloom. I’ve watched healthy things die. I’ve watched supposedly dead things come back to life. This is life.

2. Slow fashion. I’ve done the capsule wardrobe thing for years, and I try to make ethical and sustainable purchases. But slow fashion is a whole new world. I’m reading fashion blogs again – I see you, Lindsey and Andrea! I’m buying limited edition pieces secondhand, and reading the stories behind some really incredible small businesses and designers. I’m cheering when my small purchase helps economic growth in places like Spain and Peru and Poland, and right here in Alaska. I worried that my passion for fashion might have to take a backseat to my new climate here, but it turns out there is plenty of cold weather style for me to learn and love. It’s also a great time for me to expand my uniform beyond its historical and reliable neutral palette. I still love the blacks and whites and greys, but I think this is the year I wear red.

3. Counseling. I saw a counselor for what I called “boot camp” leading up to grad school. Over the course of a summer and ten sessions, we processed and we prepped. It was quite helpful, but I knew even then that I’d need more comprehensive therapy down the road. Now is the time! I’m seeing an EMDR trauma-informed therapist, even though I have no recollection of major trauma throughout my lifetime. In the words of Aundi, there is little t and big T trauma; we’ve all experienced some form along the way. A lot of my adult life has been about powering through hard things, and I’m ready to slow down and process them with a gospel-centered professional. Side note: I had to wait for my income and health insurance to grow significantly before I could afford mental health services. It ought not be so.

4. The outdoors. For the last few years, the walks have been therapeutic and sustaining. I’ve spent a lot of time resetting my heart, mind, and body on that street near my house. I also worked every weekend during grad school, so family adventures were put on hold. Until now! We’re hiking and exploring with no agenda except to hike and explore. There is no reset needed. It almost feels like we aren’t even repairing what we’ve got; we’re building something new. We’re seeing glaciers and moose. We’re skipping rocks on the water and trudging through icy creeks. We’re riding in boats and laying on beaches. Sometimes I simply stop for a moment, wherever I am, just to get my face in the sun.

5. Marriage vulnerability. I’ve always thought myself to be honest and transparent, but there is a time to go deep and a time to stay afloat. Grad school was a time to stay afloat. When things felt tense, my husband and I chose to trust. We picked our battles, and they were few. We prioritized peace. Now, we have the time to go deep. These days, we still work for a harmonious home, but we are no longer in survival mode. Sometimes, I find myself rambling about my day or something that’s bothering me, and I realize I’ve been talking for several minutes. There is room for details now. Other times, I find myself losing my patience with my husband and he addresses it in the moment. There is more room for reflection and repentance now.

There is more room for a lot of things now.

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community life in alaska life lately the whole & simple gospel

Let’s open up this space a bit.

Three and a half years ago, I shut down the comments on this blog. My offline life felt quite full, and I wanted something I could control. Now, I don’t receive any income from being online, and my following isn’t the largest on the internet. It was the engagement that kept me around. I wanted to see what was happening. I wanted to follow the traffic. I wanted to reply to the comments. I wanted you to like me AND understand me AND agree with me AND accept me unconditionally AND never, ever unfollow me. In order to support all of these unhealthy habits, I had to be online a lot. Along the way, praise God, I course-corrected quite a bit. I got off of Facebook completely. I turned off notifications on my phone. I even started deleting social media apps a few times per week. I missed writing, but school was simply more important at the time.

Now that school is over and my kids are older, I’m ready to put “writing” back on my list of hobbies. (You wouldn’t believe how many of those questionnaires I’ve filled out over the last few months. Everyone from the new employer to the new counselor wants to know what I do in my spare time. Study? I only remember studying?) Now that I have the time, I would love to write on a blog again, in expanded form.

Let’s keep the expectations low, for now. While I’ve been on the internet for decades, I’m also quite technology-challenged; even the new Instagram updates overwhelm me. I don’t know how to build a website to save my life; I paid someone to help me with this blog years ago. Regardless, I would like to start writing here more. I would like to put up a picture every now and again. I would like this blog to be a friendly place for readers to gather for a minute or two, and maybe exchange some ideas. I still want you to like me, but you don’t have agree or even understand me to show up here. I’ve been working on a thick skin and soft heart for long enough. It’s time to put it to practice. Consider the comment section officially open. Let’s open up this space a bit.

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COVID-19 health & wellness life in alaska the whole & simple gospel

Covid-19, three months later

I figured it was time to quit adding to this post and just start a new one! This pandemic is marathon stuff, huh? I recently posted the following on Instagram, which prompted a few requests for resources:

Since moving to Alaska, we’ve all been tested for Covid-19 at least once. We’ve done so eagerly, and with joy, because mass testing and contact tracing is a proven method of slowing spread while moving the country forward. (PSA: you ain’t gotta get the nasopharyngeal swab anymore. There are gentler options now!)

We also wear masks in public, for two reasons. First, it’s another proven method of protection for ourselves and others. Second, it’s a quiet, simple, and public demonstration of our respect for our community. We’re paying attention, and we care.

I read a tweet awhile back, that said Americans think covid is over because we grew bored with it. The Kincaids are not bored. We love God and science and public health and the least of these from Matthews 25. This is kingdom work, and we hope to be doing it for the rest of our days.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1N8fmghob/

And now, for some (hopefully) helpful resources! Last update: June 24, 2020

EXPERTS I’M FOLLOWING:

In addition to numbers counts via the WHO, CDC, state websites, and my current employer (a hospital)’s daily reports and guidelines… the only regular resource I follow for new information is Emory University’s incredibly smart and humorous scientist Laurel Bristow (@kinggutterbaby). She does a great job of breaking down press releases and scientific papers in clear and practical ways, and she also highlights the work of other experts within her field.

ON PERSONAL RESEARCH:

I’ve used my computer for nothing but evidence-based research for the last four years, thanks to grad school. So glad to be done! But also, I’m grateful for the foundational tools it gave me. I’ll use those forever, and I’m happy to share them here.

First, consider the source. Personal accounts like YouTube videos, interviews, and expert opinions are fine to reference. However, they are not considered quality research. Check out this page to learn about different levels of evidence. It includes graphics and definitions, and I still refer to this concept regularly when measuring a source I’ve found. Spoiler alert: we don’t have high levels of evidence yet for a novel virus like Covid-19. Another spoiler alert: expert opinions are considered the lowest level quality of evidence. YouTube videos and Facebook accounts don’t even make the cut.

Second, try using specific terms when performing a search. I use phrases like evidence-based or evidence for, scholarly article, and peer-reviewed in addition to whatever I’m typing into the search bar.

Third, evaluate the source’s crew. Generally, experts will be accepted by other experts. This is what it means when an article has been peer-reviewed. The article was de-identified and sent to a slew of people to review and critique, before it was published. Additionally, people who consider themselves to be experts in a field should not be lone wolves. Do they have privileges at a hospital? Are they on staff at a teaching institution? Who claims them as their own? This applies to every industry environment from finance to ministry, but we’re talking about medical science right now. It’s easy to get swept up in a smart person’s story, but check out who else has bought in or rejected their expertise before you hitch your cart to it.

And now, for some articles from real experts! Last update: June 29, 2020

ON COVID-19 HERD IMMUNITY:

Mayo Clinic – general background and definitions

Possibly a lower percentage needed to achieve, but we still aren’t sure about current infection leading to immunity

Argument against herd immunity as a solution + helpful graphics

ON MASS TESTING AND CONTACT TRACING:

An opinion (but quite reasonable/hopeful) piece on colleges reopening safely

It’s not just increased testing that is causing a spike in cases

On the importance of mass testing specifically in the context of Covid-19, since such a large number of cases are asymptomatic

Mathematical modelling study (in the United Kingdom) comparing mass testing, tracing, and isolating to measure transmission reduction

How Massachusetts did it and how they’re doing since (graphics included)

European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control explains their recommendations with evidence from China and LOTS of cited sources

Argument for rapid tracing using an app (sends color coded notifications to your phone based on hot spots) due to large number of presymptomatic and asymptomatic cases rendering manual tracing less useful

The difference between test counts and case counts

Updated numbers, if you’re a data dude or a graph gal

ON MASKS:

Evidence for effectiveness of masking

Addressing CO2 concerns

Addressing more C02 concerns + bacterial build-up concerns

Stanford scientists answering good questions

Do masks cause lung infections?

Do masks cause skin infections?

life in alaska the whole & simple gospel

#kincaidstoalaska

How did we get here?! Be sure to scroll to the part about our last home being our “death house.”

I’m sure nobody feels especially prepared for a pandemic, but a cross-country move proved especially challenging. Aside from the fact that neither my husband nor I have never moved more than eleven miles from home, travel details remained unsure, and a mandated quarantine meant we wouldn’t have help unpacking or be welcomed by brand-new built-in friends once we arrived. In addition, local goodbyes were almost non-existent due to stay home orders. This included friends and family we’ve loved our whole lives.

Nevertheless, we left on May 20. My parents accompanied us, which was a fun last-minute change to the travel plans. Our caravan consisted of a Suburban towing a 14-foot trailer, a Subaru, four adults, four kids, and two dogs. We drove 4,583 miles in eight days. We crossed through North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, Wisconsin and North Dakota. Once in Canada, we drove through Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, and the Yukon. We hit six different time zones. We saw moose and stoned sheep and black bear and caribou and porcupines. We saw prairies and farm land and wind mills and big cities and mountains and rivers and skies so blue they looked painted. It was an unforgettable trip.

But we’re here now! In Homer, Alaska! And there’s a backstory!

Fifteen years ago this week, I arrived to this town lost and confused. I had just met my husband and wasn’t sure where it was going. I had also taken a semester off from college, to figure out my educational future. After applying to a fashion design program too late, I settled on a discipleship training school in Hawaii. It, too, was full but they offered me an opportunity with a new program… in Alaska, of all places.

It was here that I decided to go to nursing school. It was here that I first considered Chris as marriage material, doodling his last name against mine in journals and even naming future kids. It was here, through letters and emails and very expensive long-distance phone calls, that seeds were planted in Chris’ heart for leading worship.
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And now fifteen years later, we’re living here. I’ll be working as an NP at the hospital; Chris has taken a position as worship pastor at a local church. We didn’t expect this, or really even dream it up. But God did. Turns out, his ways are always higher and his plans are always better than ours.