Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself caught up in the Internet world in a much different way than I’d like. In the past two years, the world wide web has been invaluable to me. I’ve met like-minded and different-minded women from around the world. I’ve learned new things about everything from fashion to health to cooking. I’ve developed supportive friendships. I’ve found a way to stay connected with people even when I’m caught up in the “house arrest” stage of motherhood.
However, I’ve recently been reminded of why I stopped blogging in college. I am too sensitive for the anonymous comments and the critical (albeit, witty & oftentimes dead-on) websites. I try my best to avoid that stuff, but sometimes I find it or it finds me anyway. I’m not writing this post to stir anything up or gain anything. I have a problem with approval and people-pleasing. I already know this. I’ve struggled with it for years, with everyone from family to schoolmates to coworkers to total strangers.
I find myself staying quiet on here for days on end, until someone asks a question in which others might show interest, or until I feel some download from the Lord that I want to share. This space seems to be growing into a safe platform for women to share and learn, with and from each other. It’s blossoming into something that fulfills me, something that’s been stirring in my heart for years. I’m just along for the ride, and I’m humbled and thankful to be doing so.
But lately, I second-guess every post. Because I’m scared of… what? Criticism? A comment without a name attached? I’m not sure. But it makes my stomach flip.
So I’m working on it. To start off with, I’m going back to the basics. While I’ve got kids and tend to write about them a lot, I’ve always tried to stay away from the “mommy blogger” stereotype. I’ve avoided picture-filled posts of outings and weekends. I’ve refrained from repeating a bunch of Instagram photos that people have already seen elsewhere. Why? Because I don’t want to bore people or give anyone the impression that I think my family is oh-so-special. However, this blog was started as a way to keep loved ones updated on my family’s goings-on. Most of those loved ones aren’t involved with social media. This is pretty much their only way of staying in touch with the day-to-day. We haven’t developed a single photo print since the girls were born!
So anyway, back to the basics.
Here is a “look at my family; we took a walk” post.
Look at my family. We took a walk.
16 Comments
Your family is special, and it’s right and good for you to think so. It’s definitely not something to apologize for. You have readers here (I guess I’m speaking for myself, really) because what you write about your family and your lifestyle is worth reading about, is thought-provoking, is joyful, is relatable, is inspirational.
Well put Jessica. Rachael, your family is oh-so-special! And family stories or not, I enjoy reading your posts. I’ve always struggled with the fine line of being too self-involved on my blog and making it entertaining/interesting for other folks. Then I realized, as much as I’d like for other people to read and be entertained by me (because who doesn’t like being clever and funny?), I blog so the me in 20 years can remember the adventures I have now. To heck with the naysayers!
This happens to me too. Every time I start to post something I think, eh…who really cares except me? But you know, its like anything else that God places on your heart–there’s ALWAYS going to be a place for doubt to creep in. That is what is so beautiful about the opportunity to trust God’s plan. It isn’t easy but it is rewarding. It is very clear for me and for others to see the fruits of that trust here on your blog. Your family is beautiful and your words are sometimes simply entertaining, but more often uplifting. I have never met you but your words about “doing good work” have echoed in my head so many times. Keep up the good work.
I read your blog because I love what you have to say but also because I love your family! And I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t break on days I couldn’t see the girls ;) If people have a problem they can stop reading. Simple. I love it and you keep me coming back :)
I love reading about your family and yourself! I know it’s hard to not let the comments get to you, but out of one hater there is probably 100 more people who love and enjoy reading about your family :)
good for you. your bolg= whatever YOU want. If people take the time out of their day to read your blog and reply negative, well pitty on them for being so consumed in themselves.
I discovered your blog yesterday, and kind of adore you already. ;)
I’m currently struggling with the same things. I am now not allowing anonymous comments, simply because 99.9% of them were mean, harsh comments by people feeling safe behind the anonymity of the internet. If people think I can’t handle differing opinions, then whatever. A different opinion is one thing—someone attacking me and my character is another.
And now that I’m a mama, it’s tough to find the balance between “personal blogger” and “mommy blogger” and all the things in-between. I guess we just do our best, and as long as we’re staying true to ourselves (and posting what WE want to post, not just for readers but for ourselves), then I think we’re doing just fine.
Have I mentioned you are lovely?
I am a people pleaser too, I get nervous often about what people think, it’s hard. I am praying that you can be free from that bondage and just be YOU, because you really are lovely and I love your blog, a lot!
well i think you rock & you’re totally awesome.
i love your blog…reading whats on your heart, stories of your adventures at work, special things you do with your kids/as a family, and pictures of your sweet brood are precious.
but its hard when you find yourself hesitant or worried you might write something that 1 person might not like. but i think you’re on your way…just being you!
oh and still, i feel horrible that my post caused you such trouble. :/
Love your blog…for your spunk, your love for GOD, husband and sweet children!!
very very cute pix! and yes i def agree with the fortune!
http://infinitelifefitness.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com
The need to people please is simply human. We all have some desire to be liked or approved of by others. Your blog is fantastic and there are many of us who think so. I think the trick is becoming content with some and not all because there will always be some who have something nasty to say, not because there is anything wrong with you but because there is something in their life they aren’t happy about. Please keep writing so we can keep reading! :)
Hi- I always enjoy your posts and the istagram pictures. :)
AHH! This has so been on my mind lately! Don’t feel like blogging because of what I am calling Pinterest fatigue – never feel like my life is as special and glowy as some of the perfect pictures out there.
Oh and that snarky website (that I admittedly spend too much time on…) making me feel like anything I do deem special is stupid. Ugh. Thanks for the reminder that blogging IS a fun thing to do for myself :)
i love your blog! even if you don’t post about your family every day, or post photos, or anything, don’t stop writing! you’re a fantastic person, and it shows through your writing. if there are haters (like on the 4 under 4 post), just ignore them…let trolls be trolls, but you be you and continue being awesome! if other people’s opinions differ, then they just have to learn to deal with it because the world is full of different people with differing opinions of what should and shouldn’t be done…
keep doing what you do, and don’t second-guess it. there will always be people supporting you, regardless of what the anonymous people say.
If people don’t have anything nice to say they should turn off their computers. Why do peole feel the need to critcize someone else’s family?? Anyways I think that you have a lot to offer on this page and should keep it going! It would be hard sometimes under scrutiny but for every person who thinks/says something negative there are many more who are thinking/saying positive things!