Last night, I traded off between nursing a newborn and nursing a headache. The baby (and my husband) slept amazingly well; I barely slept at all. My head pounded in a way that made me want to revisit labor all over again. Once I’d used all of the meds and the peppermint oil and the heating pad to no avail, I got up and took a bath. Afterward, I crawled back into bed and tried to ignore the throbbing in my head. I cuddled up to a sleeping Hadassah Lee and waited for morning, feeling discouraged and defeated. It was at that moment I felt it. Strong and unmistakable, my daughter’s heartbeat against mine.
I reminded myself at that moment that the sun would come up. The animals would come marching two by two down the stairs, anxious to play with each other and eat their breakfast. The headache would fade (or not), and our lives would go on.
There has never been a more chaotic season in my life, yet never a more peaceful one. Each time someone raises an eyebrow at our Brady Bunch or asks how we do it, I want to shout it from the rooftops – it just gets easier and easier, y’all.
There is more love to go around.
There is more patience to pour on each head.
There is more joy at each small moment.
Like a heart pounding through a tiny chest…
reminding me who I am and where I belong, and what really matters.
16 Comments
Beautiful.
ugly tears. I want to be you when I grow up. I just love you so much.
To this day I can’t figure out what you see in me, but I’m grateful you drag me along as friend.
Love this Rachael. You and your family and the way you see people inspires me. I’m going to second Jessi and ask if I can be you when I grow up.
Honored! Hopefully, it’s more Jesus and less me every day. Not good at it, yet… but grateful for your encouragement.
yes. what jessi said. i only have three. my youngest is 10 weeks and sleeping through the night and i still don’t have that kind of fortitude or peace.
Oh… yes you do, sister. It’s all right there.
so, so beautiful. this makes me so excited for whats ahead. my own little clan to love and pour into by the grace of Jesus. truly, thats what shines through your life and your writing. grace upon grace. and lots of joy too.
I needed to read that today. Thanks for the encouragement!
beautiful words! really encouraging to a nervous mama who is about to welcome one more.
also- i was totally thinking that y’all were like the brady bunch with 3 & 3!
The one-to-two transition is difficult, or so I’ve heard! Give yourself grace; it’s scary to think about sharing your time/space/body/love! Get ready for your heart to explode, though. It’s so much fun.
This is beautiful. As a mama of four, I appreciate the sentiment – more joy, more patience, more peace. What blessings! :)
I love this so very much.
i totally agree with jessi and mackenzie! you are an amazing inspiration and i pray that i can be a momma and wife like you. i’ve adored you since the day i met you.
An off the wall question but one that cured the horrible headaches of three people in our family–Could you by any chance be clenching/grinding your teeth without realizing it? Three of us had this problem in our family, pain so bad we couldn’t sleep, didn’t get better during the day and all three of us were told by the dentist that he could see evidence of tooth grinding or clenching. We all got bite guards to sleep in and the headaches disappeared.
An off the wall question but one that cured the horrible headaches of three people in our family–Could you by any chance be clenching/grinding your teeth without realizing it? Three of us had this problem in our family, pain so bad we couldn’t sleep, didn’t get better during the day and all three of us were told by the dentist that he could see evidence of tooth grinding or clenching. We all got bite guards to sleep in and the headaches disappeared.