why i quit chambray.

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I absolutely love to shop. I’ll forever hunt a good bargain, but I also enjoy collecting clothing and accessories that will stick around my closet for years to come. Over the last few years, I’ve spent most of my shopping effort on others – my house and children, specifically. Since growing our family so large, I’ve fought hard to make sure we don’t go without just because there’s less money to go around. I want my kids to wear the clothes they like, and I want to decorate the house in a way that make us feel at home and proud to be in it.

That being said, Chris is forever trying to convince me to take a chunk of cash and spend it on myself. As easy as I find it to spend money, I seem to drag my heels when it comes to my own desires. I fell in love with a certain watch a year ago, but I’m waiting until I get a certain bonus in January to pull the trigger on it. As for his own clothes, there’s a patch in pretty much every pair of pants Chris owns. He’s also become quite adept with a sewing machine, but he never says a word because he’d rather spend his extra money on music gear. The point is, we’ve needed to update our wardrobes for quite some time now.

So last week, we did just that.

We’d been saving all year for Christmas. Who am I kidding… I have a savings account through a payroll deduction program called “the Christmas Club.” It’s amazing in that it requires no preparation or self-control. Anyway, we emptied it out on a date night last week and decided to buy for ourselves first for a change. We finished the night at our favorite sushi joint and swore up and down we’d have no regrets.

And I didn’t, at first. But wouldn’t you know I spent the last two evenings returning various items? I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know if it’s because I spent so much money at once, instead of buying one or two things at a time. Or maybe it’s the amount I spent on each item, which we told ourselves should not matter. This was our Christmas present to each other, for goodness’ sake! But I just couldn’t do it.

So I kept the makeup, the pea coat, and every single thing we bought for Chris. It all looked great on him, and he needed it oh-so-badly. But the rest of the stuff went back, tags still attached and some still wrapped in paper. I felt a little nervous about causing such a hassle, since we both used to work in retail. But I left the mall feeling so much relief, so much peace.

We’ll put any extra cash into savings, after we cross everything off of the kids’ lists and put new tires on the Suburban. With our upcoming move, padding the savings account makes me sleep easier at night. Besides, I never could figure out the right way to wear that darling chambray shirt anyway.